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Self-confidence is having confidence and trusting in yourself ; that you can do things, and do them right - like believing that you should take an exam because you believe that you can pass it. One therefore can be self-confident about some things in your life and not others. ‘I am bad at exams – but really good at football’ . Lack of self-confidence can also be due to shyness, depression, being bullied, having problems at home or at school. It is believing that you have a right to not only exist, but also to be heard. It is believing that you can both give and receive love, can make and have friends, that you can enjoy yourself, and find something which you are good at.

Can it be measured?

There are a number of questionnaires that say that they measure self-confidence. Search them out on the internet and see if they help you. Some of the signs of depression overlap with those of lacking confidence and these include:

  • Feeling tired all the time
  • Feeling fed up all the time
  • Feeling that everything in your future is going to be bad
  • Feeling that you are not good
  • Feeling cut off from everyone around you
  • Having difficulty making up your mind

Can you improve your self-confidence?

If you accept what is said above about being self-confident in some areas and not in others – then the answer is definitely ‘yes’. Look at what you are good at instead of what you cannot do. If you become a very skillful tennis player – then you are going to be self-confident about beating other people at tennis, but you may still be lousy at cooking and therefore lack self-confidence as a cook. It is difficult to be self-confident about everything that you do, but you can learn to be very confident about at least some things in your life – and that is an excellent start.