buy trazodone online

Parents splitting up?

A teenage girl sitting on a bench with her head in her arms looking thoughtful
If your parents appear to be splitting up or are getting divorced - here are some things to remember:
  • What is happening between your parents is not your fault, even if you have been having arguments with them (teenagers arguing with their parents is totally normal). Clover, aged 15 felt… My first clear memory of anything in my life was last year when mum and dad told me that they were getting divorced. Mum said I just screamed as if someone had stuck a knife into me - but it was because I was so upset. Since then I seem to have been really angry with the world 'cos I keep thinking it's my fault even if I know that it's not.
  • Don't try and be a parent to your parents - they are the parents and should not offload their emotional problems on you. This is how Jeff aged 16 felt… My parents finally split up last year after what seemed like endless fighting, silences, - you name it. But they have never once spoken about it or asked me how I'm feeling or how I'm coping. I wish they'd listen to me, just to sit down and talk. Most of the time I feel like screaming at them that I'm not okay and would you please just talk to me, but I don't want to upset either of them.
  • About half of all parents get divorced so you're not alone - try talking to your friends if you don't believe it! Fiona aged 11 … I don't know how they got married in the first place, they are like cheese and chalk together. Mum and dad's relationship was a bit of a scabby area but they're much more friendly now. Anyhow, most of my friends seem to have parents who are divorced, and most of them don't get on so well with one another as my parents do!
  • It is OK to go on, as before, loving your parents, hating parents, or just not liking them! Jason, who is aged 9 I don't know how behave now, because everything has changed, and I think that if I do anything wrong, then it make their quarrelling worse.
  • If you have a brother or sister - talk to them about it with them if you can. ….again like Fiona who is 11 It's funny because me and my brother know one another much better than my parents do - so we have to stick up for one another - and if we didn't have one another I think that we would both go crazy with our worries.
  • Your view of your parent's marriage will be different from your parent's view of their marriage and that's what growing up is about. Andrew aged 14 says better I don't know why people like my mum and dad got married and had me - if they weren't going to look after me - it doesn't seem fair and their ain't nothing I can do about it neither
  • Don't let your parents make you 'take sides' one against the other - it is perfectly all right to love both and to tell your parents that you love both of them. Sarah who is 12 refused. My dad kept slagging off mum and saying it was all her fault because she nagged him all the time, but I wasn't listening to any of that, and anyhow why weren't they thinking of me instead of themselves, that's what I want to know.
  • Don't feel guilty about making sure that your own needs as an individual and as a teenager are heard. Sarah aged 12 again Dunno why they think of themselves all the time, it's me that's suffering and I don't see why I should - just 'cos they can't love one another
  • Don't feel that you have to please everyone (ie both parents) all the time, just because your parents are divorced doesn't mean that you personally have to think of their needs anymore than if they were together and you don't have to get on with your new 'step' either - it just makes life easier if you do! Rebecca is 16. I visited my dad at his expensive house that he shared with his new family. I resented Angela (stepmother) so much, and as she was in the house most of the time, I spent most of my time outside where I met new friends. I resented my dad also, because of how he paid so much attention towards his new family
  • Having one person outside the family who you can discuss your most intimate feelings and thoughts with is hugely helpful - see if you can find someone that you can trust. Mark aged 9 is lucky, he has a grandmother he can tell everything to. I can tell my nan anything, and sometimes I say really, really nasty things about the way I hate mum and dad shouting at one another, and she just listens and tries to explain things to me so I understand them better