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Crabs

An extreme close-up illustration of three pubic lice
Illustration of some pubic lice

What goes wrong

Your balls / pubic area get incredibly itchy.

It's caused by

Pubic lice which are not absolutely the same as head lice, as they seem to like your pubic rather than your head - hair. (although they also like living in eyebrows!!) Left untreated, they will just breed and breed. The lice look like little crabs, are nearly transparent and a bit smaller than the head of a match; and the eggs on the hair are pinhead-sized and flesh-coloured.

How not to get it

Don't sleep with anyone who scratches down there a lot as they are a sexually transmitted infection.

What to do if you do get it

Nip down to the local pharmacy and buy some special anti crab lotion. Check out 'what' with your local pharmacist - they won't be embarrassed or embarrassing. Using what ever they suggest should stop you feeling lousy (ho ho). You should also get checked out for other sexually transmitted infections at your local young people's clinic, genito-urinary medical clinic or your family doctor.